Since my grandparents 50th my mom and her siblings have been emailing each other with words of philosophy, wisdom, encouragement, perspective. I haven't had time to read many of these emails, but the odd chance I do I am happy at what I see. It is not always the exact content of the emails, but the feeling of a greater sense of belonging that I experience. I am starting to realize that the things I think about and the time I spend thinking about them does not come from nowhere. Deep thinking is in my roots (not to say I am by any means the deepest person).
Anyways, in one of the latest emails my mother sent a story that I really enjoyed. For that feeling of belonging as well as (and because of) the content:
Someone passed on an article for me to read, and the following is a part of it which has some interesting ideas (if you are willing :-) ). "Bill" is sharing a story in reponse to a question "John" had about the relevance of spiritual/pastoral care in this day and age.
Bill : It's about the Cheyenne/Cree wisdom tradition. Their approach begins with the conviction that all human beings are liars about their loneliness.
The Cheyenne were wise in their appointing various custodians of pronounced spiritual stature to oversee the health of the people's soul. Some grandmother or grandfather could approach a group of children playing, and depending upon the showing up of some intuitive nudge within them, begin to engage them in a playful conversation. "I know about something that you are going to do a lot, and it will really hurt you, but you will not know how much it has really hurt you until it really hurts you ... I was thinking about telling you about it today, but I don't think that I will" Then the grandmother spirit friend would walk away in the knowledge that human beings rarely value things that they do not have to chase after. Well, inevitably, the curiosity of the children would get the better of them as they just had to know what it was that they were going to do a lot that is really going to hurt them, without them knowing it. Eventually, grandma would find a place where she would seat herself, and engage them, "alright then, I will tell you. What you are going to do a lot of that will really hurt you is LIE ... all human beings are liars." The children, for their part, are astounded by this information, especially coming from such an esteemed person of the people. "Grandma? If all human beings are liars, then are you a liar?"
"Oh yes, I am!" I have been one of the best liars among the two-leggeds until it really hurt me. So I lie much less now ... do you want to know why human beings are liars?"
"Yes, Why are we liars?"
"The reason is to be found in the first breath that you took into your lungs outside of your mother's tummy. The very first breath that you took was mingled with something else, and it entered into your centre with your first breath, and it grew as you grew. That breath was mingled with something we know as loneliness ... That is why you can be playing at the creek with your friends, and suddenly, for no reason, you feel a kind of homesickness, and lonesomeness that comes over you that you do not understand. No one else seems to be feeling it, and so, you talk yourself out of feeling it, and that is the first lie ... it is to yourself about the actual loneliness that you were feeling. The second lie happens when you show yourself to others as if you are not feeling it. All lies proceed from that. Tell me, who do you pick on most in the village?"
"Well, we kind of pick on Grey Eagle."
"O good! You are becoming the best of liars already! You don't kind of pick on him... you torment him, because I have seen you do that. Do you know why you pick on him as you do?"
"Because he's strange ... he's not like us ... he's just strange."
"You are entirely right! He is not like you at all, because he is not a good enough liar about his loneliness! You pick on him to teach him how to lie about it better ... otherwise, he will be a disturbing reminder to you about yours that you have learned to lie so well about ... The further any human being is from their loneliness, the more violent they will be towards others, and/or themselves. The worst kind of violence can be the kind that you do not see ... it is called neglect. This is really concealed violence against the spirit of one's self, or others. If you go looking inside of yourself, and go into your loneliness, you will find that is a medicine lodge containing 4 witnessing longings: The Longing to be Understood; The Longing to be Forgiven (especially by one's own spirit); the Longing for Belonging; and the Longing for Meaningful Purpose. They are witnesses that came into your centre by way of loneliness that was mingled in with your first breath. If you learn about them, and from them, you will become a human being. They were given to us as a gift from The Great Mystery Spirit so that we will not forget that we are returning to where we came from."
In the face of this story, John nearly fell off his chair,
"What you have just shared provided for the essence of all addictions; those disrespected longings in the disposition of loneliness"
Bill responded by saying, "That is why we have multi-billion dollar industries purposed to keep us from befriending our loneliness. And that is also one of the reasons why on an unconscious level, the American opportunistic, entrepreneurial agenda was compelled to kill every Cheyenne they could find. It is a case of mistaken identity on the grandest of scales... We thought that loneliness makes us losers... when in reality, it is a constant reminder of our home being elsewhere." As an aside from this, upon hearing about Jesus, the Cheyenne recognized an intimacy with their own spiritual intuition in this regard. "This Jesus, that has been spoken of really knew about His loneliness. "foxes have their hoes, birds their nests, but He has no place to lay His head ... Even in His Sun Dance, His piercing on the wood, He calls out to the Great Spirit from his loneliness."
