Well, I am frustrated and confused. My head is full and I have thought this issue through to the end SO many times but it never comes to the ending I want. So it's still there, and it sits there. It sits in there in my mind because I have given up trying to get to the end of it, what's the point if it's a disappointment every time? I COULD think it through to the end, that ending I don't like, and then take it a step further to accept that end and act accordingly. But that is just about the hardest thing I could think to do. I know it's hard because I have tried at least twice already and, failed.
Talking to friends doesn't help, the response is always the same. I like to tell myself they just don't understand, but they do understand. They tell me what would be wise, what would be the best. I have always been the type of person to follow what is wise, to at least try to do what is best, what is expected, rational. But THIS TIME I don't want to be rational, I don't want to be wise, I want to be purposely and blatantly stupid.
That is why I am here and not there.
I don't trust myself with this one.
2 comments:
i love you shy-ky.
He'll never leave you. No matter, He'll always been chasing you down. You're not going to find yourself abandoned. You're always going to be found.
And loved. And cherished.
And i will love and cherish you too.
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